meals

As always, the Morrows are so appreciative of the meals and gift cards that have been given to them over the past weeks.  April is almost completely covered, with the exception of 2 days.  Please see the care calendar (details on the left side of this page) if you'd like to fill those slots.  Thx!

long time, no post!

I've gotten inquiries from several of you wondering why we haven't posted in a while. Sorry! Honestly it's because we haven't had anything new to write in awhile.

The name of the game has been "perseverance" these last weeks. After a flurry of change and challenges in the early days of this adventure, life has fallen into a predictable rhythm defined by the stretch between chemo treatments. The challenge has been facing the familiar with the same desperate faith as we did the unfamiliar. It is ironic that sometimes this is the more difficult task!

As I've written many times, I continue to be amazed and thankful at the steadfast love and support of you who are choosing to persevere with us! I know in the future, if ever God gives me the opportunity to play the supportive friend for someone else, that person will have you to thank for teaching me just what that really means.

Tomorrow (Friday April 3rd) I go in for a CT scan to gauge the progress of the treatments so far. I will get to sit down with the doctor next Wednesday (the 8th) to hear the results. So plan on hearing from us then, hopefully with good news...

chemo day reminders

Today is chemo day. I've been dreading this day more than usual, I think, because I was feeling so good the last few days and don't want to go back to feeling bad. But dealing with that dread the last few days has reminded me of a few things:

1)The importance of rest and fun. Casey, the kids and I got a chance to get out of town for a few days for Spring Break, and I was surprised at how good it was to get away for a little bit. Being in a different setting, away from the daily grind, was so good. It was good to do things that refresh my soul - be outside, have a little adventure, have fun with the family... Please pray that Casey and the kids will continue to experience refreshment as I begin chemo.

2) The importance of friendship. Yesterday I left Casey and the kids in Tyler to come back for chemo today and picked up my best friend/brother Mike at the airport in Dallas. I was reminded how much I (and we all) need people to encourage me in the journey and keep pointing me to my ultimate hope - Jesus. This morning Mike sat in on the morning Bible study I have with some good friends each week and we talked about a man named Jairus whose account is found in Mark chapter 5. In his most depsperate hour his friends told him not to bother Jesus anymore because it was hopeless. I am so thankful I have friends who say the opposite - don't stop looking at Jesus, put your hope in HIm because He is the only one worthy of it.

3) The importance of trying times. In that same passage in the gospel of Mark, both Jairus and another woman are brought to their knees because of their desparate circumstances. It was in the risky posture of desperate dependence precipitated by these dire circumstances that produced a life changing encounter with Jesus. I can identify with them in that I have experienced the grace and love of God's powerful presence so much more deeply these days precisely because I am in touch with my desperate condition. I am actually thankful for trying times like this one because it helps me realize how much more I could experience Him (and therefore the life for which He made me).

the space between

The third week of the chemo cycle is the best, and I am noticing that this "third week" is better than the ones before. Just a few twinges of chest pain here and there, but overall I feel almost normal. As I've come out the fog this time around, I've noticed a couple of things. First, I am really aware of the wear and tear on the family. Accommodating me and taking care of me has been an added stress that is taking its toll on both Casey and the kids. They do so much to take up the slack when I don't feel good and they don't complain. Needless to say, we are all looking forward to getting out of town this weekend. I'll leave them with Casey's parents midweek to come back for chemo, and I am really glad for Casey and the kids that they will have a little break from the chemo "drill" this time.

Finally, I continue to learn from many of you what love looks like. Our small group recently did a parenting study in which the author, Dr. Tim Kimmel, defines love as "the commitment of my will to your best interests, regardless of the cost." It is in this season, after the initial surge of shock and attention has passed when I am really amazed to see people doing this to us - continuing to pray for us, spending their time and energy on our behalf. We have received yard work and meals and financial assistance and childcare and prayers and words of encouragement. Friends continue to do life with us, even when we are a mess, and love us so extravagently that they are sending Casey and I on a weekend getaway in a few weeks. It is definitely extrememly humbling and sustaining at the same time...

lost and found

We have the best friends. Today, the guys from our small group came over and searched our yard and alley for Adam's wedding ring. They FOUND IT!! Isn't that great?! As one of them said, it's like the parable of the lost coin. It's also another example of God caring about the little stuff because He loves us. In addition, it's a great example of the blessings of living in community. It is a treasure. So, thanks guys for taking time to help us and to your wives for giving you up at a difficult time of day. We love you...
Adam thankfully got through the stomach bug unscathed with the exception of the fever. It was a rough week last week and we were both definitely "sick and tired of being sick and tired". It is amazing how discouraging it can be when you feel so at the end of your rope. On the upside, it is really true that lately as we are coming to the end of ourselves we have experienced God's presence - and that is the unexpected gift, perhaps lost in easier times, that we have found in God's grace expressed through friends in these days.

-Casey

deep breath

The night after my last blog I ended up very sick with a stomach bug. We were hoping it would just stay with me, but it appears to have snagged Adam as well. He is sick with a fever and nauseous but stable so far. We've been hit pretty hard this week. Adam lost his wedding ring yesterday because his fingers are so skinny now. Honestly, I'm incredibly frustrated at the moment. Enough already. So, please lift us up as you think of it. We know that many of you have your own crazy stuff going on and we are grateful for your prayers.
-Casey

Pain

Today I was watching a little bit of Shadowlands and was reminded of something C. S. Lewis said: "I don't believe God necessarily cares if we are happy. He wants us to love and be loved. He wants us to grow up....Pain is God's megaphone to rouse a deaf world." It was good to be reminded that He uses our pain to draw us back to himself. He aches for us and He longs for us to depend on Him, find refuge in Him, draw strength and courage from Him. I/we are learning so much about loving and being loved. My hope in addition to Adam being completely healed is that at the end of this season I will have learned to love more like He does: selflessly, graciously, generously and without fear. On another note, Adam is doing well. He doesn't feel great. The pain is often dull but uncomfortable and he has noticed how mentally taxing it has been. He is also aware of how well he is loved by our community of friends here and all of you out there lifting us up. The kids are well and ready for Spring Break as am I. I can't help but say thank you everytime I blog. We are so grateful for all of you...
Casey

Blaaaaahhh....

I feel like dookie today...

what makes nausea worth it

Sorry I haven't posted in awhile. I've started several in my head, but they didn't make it to my fingers. I'll post those later, but here are some details about today.

Today was my third round of chemo, of 6 scheduled treatments. Halfway! For the most part it felt very routine - draw blood, see the doctor, nurse sticks the iv in the port and I sit there for 5 or 6 hours, and now I am home and feeling weird. ("weird" is what I write when I don't want to go into details about how I feel because it feels like complaining. Is it helpful to know more details, or is 'weird" enough for you? Just wondering...)

Anyway, I got some really good news from the doctor today. I got to see the CT scan they took in the ER a week and a half ago next to the original scan, and the tumor has definitely shrunk! In the "before" picture, the tumor almost totally obscured my heart from the top view, and most of my heart is almost completely visible in the most recent scan. This is especially good because it only reflects the effects of the 1st round of treatment and a little of the 2nd!

Because I had the unscheduled CT in the ER, the doctor has pushed the next scan to after the 4th round. So in effect I will have scans after the 2nd, 4th and 6th rounds.

That's the main news from today. I'll write more later this week with other tidbits about how we are doing. Thanks so much for all of your thoughts and prayers. We feel overwhelmingly loved by you and held close by God.

-Adam

Updated Meal Calendar

Just a note to let you all know that there are meal calendars set up for March and April now.  We are still doing 2 meals a week.  Casey says the meals are great...they provide a break for her, while allowing her to still cook many nights a week (which is something she enjoys).

If you wish to provide a meal or a gift card to a resturant, please go to carecalendar.org (calendar #: 10660 /security code: 9900)

Thanks!

Casey here. I just wanted to update you all a little bit. Ellie is feeling all better. Friday was her first fever free day and she jumped on the trampoline for over an hour out of joy that she was finally well and free. I must admit, it was a challenging week with her sick and Adam's pleurisy issues. If this week had a theme it would be "learning hard lessons." In this case they are hard but good lessons meant to draw us nearer to God and who we are in him. I have had many opportunities to fix my gaze on Him when I have completely run out of my own resources. The more "out" I am the more I look to Him. I am encouraged that I am learning to do this even with the little things. For example, I took both kids with me to Walmart on Sunday. We were trying to stay out of the house so Adam could catch up on some sleep after being in the ER very early that morning. My strategy had been to shamelessly bribe the kids with a surprise reward for good behavior but they blew that plan in the first 10 minutes. We managed to get all our shopping done and they stopped fussing with each other for the most part. As we were leaving I remembered that we had parked far away from a place to return our cart. We had been at Walmart for two long hours and I couldn't wrap my brain around this obstacle. "What do I do with this cart? I don't want to leave it here but I don't want to be that far from the kids while I return it. My brain can't wrap around another obstacle." This was a small, silly delima but I asked God to help me. Just then a car parks next to us and as I'm pondering my next move a nice man asked" Can I take your cart?"... God is with me even in the silly little obstacles. As I fix my gaze on Him more, I see Him more and I see Him care about the silly little things because He loves me. This lesson is hard but good.

In the ER

Saturday morning I woke up with some pretty good heartburn. Heartburn is a common side effect of chemo-therapy, plus I was smart and had a bunch of jalapenos at Rosa's Friday night. Well this heartburn lasted all day and then was accompanied by some general chest pain. At 4am this (Sunday) morning, it hadn't subsided and I figured I better to to the ER. (I had been mildly scolded by the Dr.'s office for not going to the ER the last time I had chest pain.) The blood tests, EKG and CT scan revealed nothing out of the ordinary - which is good. (the main risk associated with pain related to my breathing is a blood clot in my lung) The Doctor diagnosed the pain as Pleurisy, which is an inflammation of the lining of the lungs. There's pretty much nothing you can do about it except treat the pain.