Monday, February 2, 2009

Vanity

Today is the day I've anticipated since the day I learned of my diagnosis. This morning I noticed an unusual amount of hair in my towel as I dried off after a shower. Mind you, it is not unusual to find hairs fleeing from my balding head, but not this many. So I am going to spare the rest the humiliation of suicide and am going to shave my head as soon as I am done here.

It is funny how bad it feels to lose your hair when you didn't really have that much to lose anyway. But still, it is a bit demoralizing. It's really not going to be that much of a change for anyone looking at me, and yet I still am feeling preemptively embarrassed. It just serves to show me that my vanity extends beyond thinking I am a better driver than I really am.

Before the hair exodus, I was planning on writing today about how I was wondering how the second round of chemo, scheduled for Wednesday, would be different than the first. For round one, I felt sick and tired for one week, tired and a little sick for the second week, and a little tired for week three. I wonder - will it be better, worse, or the same this time around?

5 comments:

  1. So you'll look even more like your dad - not too bad a thing, actually. As we consider your parents to be among our most cherished long-time friends, it is a blessing to us to see more and more of their legacy in you. Even better than that, you are looking more and more like your heavenly Dad, and that is a special blessing (and challenge!) to us. We love you and are praying for you. Much love, John and Kathy Bell

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  2. Hey Adam, we can be twinky's I am totally with you on the vanity thing. I never thought I had a vain bone in me but I guess loosing the hair gets to everyone at some point. I would offer to lend you my wigs, scarves, hats, etc but you might look kind of funny. I think you will just be very handsome with a shaved head. Who knows your hair might come back thicker then it was. I started taking Biotin and also use a Nioxin scalp conditioner that seems to have helped my scalp from drying out and my hair is coming in pretty quick. Right now it just looks like a fuzzy little old ladies head though so I still wear my wigs. It's cold too. You guys never warned me how cold you get without hair. Has it fell out on your arms yet? That was something I wasn't expecting but it did and if yours does you get chilled real easy.

    My 2nd chemo was my favorite (I can't believe I can call any chemo my favorite, but it was) Just think, you'll know exactly what's going to happen and it will take a whole lot less time since they already know how you will react to your medications. Remember, they do build on each other though so you will probably notice certain things are worse, so for instance I am a lot more achy now then I was before. You probably won't get sicker though, or at least I didn't but everyone is different. Maybe I just took more drugs the second time around and drank a whole lot more water.

    I'll be there tomorrow getting a chemo infusion of Herceptin so I'm still right there beside you. It's a drug I still have to get every 3 weeks through my port for a full 6 months. Looks like we might be getting our ports out around the same time. Reckon they would give us a discount at that surgicenter place.

    I love you my bald brother and our prayers are with you daily.

    Sheila

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  3. John and Kathy took the words straight out of my mouth! "Looking more and more like your dad..." LOL. I just wanted to let you know we're still praying for you and we love you much.
    Brandy and Alex Nora

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  4. Dale and I have your blog spot posted on our computer as a daily reminder to hold you up in prayer. We hope today went well and you aren't to sick. Although I have never faced Chemo, I threw up every day for the entire 9 months I was pregnant and the thought of nausea brings back not to fond memories. Always remember what really makes you a great looking guy is the twinkle of Christ in your eyes not the hair or hairless head! We love you and will continue the daily prayers!

    Dale and Carol Criswell

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  5. Hey Adam,

    Think about and pray for you and your family often! Inspiring/refreshing to read about your journey and honesty...

    Thank you for keeping us updated, and Im wishin' ya the best...

    Ben Dixon -- Arlington.

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