Friday, February 6, 2009

Here we go again

I really want to sit down and write something inspiring - something about persevering or how I have experienced God in a powerful way. But truthfully, I just feel gross.

Chemo went as expected on Wednesday. Thankfully I did not have the same reaction to the Ritoxin as I did the first time around - then again, they gave me enough Benadryll to down a rhino. Like last time, I do feel nauseous and tired and hopefully, like last time, it well ease up after this weekend.

One thing I am thinking about right now is how I connect with God when I don't feel good. Usually I just don't. I think I have something to learn being still before God. Not bringing something to Him or doing something for Him. But persevering by just waiting in His presence. I am definitely not very good at that.

I am reminded as I write this of the Psalm I read when I first when into the hospital - Psalm 34

v.8 says "Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him."

and v.18 "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit."


  1. hi adam! funny that you say you wanted to write something inspiring, but just don't have much. well...i am inspired.
    brokenness is the place where we see God's glory most evident. your desire to be with God while feeling bad...inspiring. seems like your relationship with Him is growing in new dimensions. inspiring!
    i find myself in a similar place. trying to understand what it means to just BE with God. not bringing anything. just resting in his presence.
    thanks for sharing the psalm! you and casey are amazing.
    devon :)

  2. I, too, don't connect with the Lord when I don't feel good. I am thankful you are pressing through that and look forward to hearing what you learn.
    (this is Tracy in case it posts as Mike)