what cancer?

According to Dr. Cruz, the chemo worked and the tumor is dead for all intents and purposes! He recommends that we talk to the radiation oncologist to do some targeted radiation just to make sure it is good and nuked. He said the chances of it never coming back are around 90%!

On one hand, this is exactly what I expected to hear, and it's almost as if it's no big deal - I am ready to move on with life. On the other hand, I am having moments where I am kind of relaxing emotionally and letting it sink in that I am very near the end of a crazy journey. We have been so geared up to deal with cancer treatment that I haven't really reckoned emotionally with how hard it has been. So I find myself wanting to laugh and cry at the same time.

Most of all I feel so incredibly thankful to God and have a new sense of adventure in life with Him. I feel ready to live each day saying "wherever, whenever,whatever - I'll follow you"

a taste of freedom

At this moment, I have gone longer without chemo than any time this year. Were I still on the every-three-week schedule, today would have been chemo day. I can't tell you how sweet it was to get a taste of freedom! I am trying not to get my hopes up, though. I'll meet with the doctor next Wednesday May 27th to find out the results of the scan I had on Monday.

good week

Hey everyone, I just wanted you to know that we are having a good week. Adam is doing much better I think because of the shot they gave him to boost his white blood cell production. It has been an encouraging week and we are thrilled to be able to get out of town for a couple of days.
I just wanted you all to know that morale is up and we are grateful. Thanks so much for walking this journey with us. It's not over, but maybe soon.
-Casey

perseverence

I've been trying to get Adam to post a blog, but I think it's difficult for him to post because there's nothing new really. We're in the "really not fun" part of the journey. It's like the stretch between Lubbock and Amarillo that you have to endure on your way to the mountains. You know you're going somewhere good that will be well worth it, but that two hours of scenery leaves little to be desired. Here's another analogy: It's as if we've been running a marathon and just as we think we're approaching the end an official tells us we have 10 more miles to go. Morale is low but we keep going. Adam is still pretty tired these days. His white blood cell counts were 2.5. They should be between 9-14. They gave him a shot that helps him produce more white blood cells which has helped some. They also gave him another medicine for his mouth sores which has helped tremendously. The prednisone he takes can cause depression which it hasn't done for Adam but it does make him more emotionally raw. I don't need any help in that department. :) I cry at the drop of a hat these days simply because I just can't help it.
However, we are looking forward to getting out of town next weekend- just us. This is a huge and welcome blessing. Also, it's a fun time of year full of school celebrations and recognition. We enjoy delighting in our kids and their accomplishments and we welcome the distraction. I am so proud of how resilient they have been. I find myself wishing I had more energy to really love on them.
So, there's what's going on with us. It's not pretty but it's real.

One more?

Tomorrow (Wednesday) is a big day. It will be Adam's 6th round of chemo. Hopefully, it will be his LAST round of chemo. Please pray for his health. He's starting this round off already not feeling great. We anticipate a rough remainder of the week ahead of us. We had a chance to go walking together this morning and then to breakfast. We were both thankful for some time together and it was life-giving to be outside. I think we both have come to the breaking point a couple of times, but I have felt like God has taken hold of each of our faces and fixed our eyes on Him. I pray that He will continue to enable me/us to see this situation through His lens and not my own.

Meals for May

Hey Friends...

We are in need of meals for the month of May.  If you can provide one or team up with another family to provide one, it would be much appreciated!

(see care calendar info. on side bar of this blog)

Oh well...

This has been a crazy week. Actually, all the weeks are running together. What is normal now? We were supposed to take the kids camping this weekend to Palo Duro Canyon. This is Adam's week before chemo- when he's usually feeling his best. We have been saving this week for things that require the most energy or things Adam would really want to feel good for- like camping. The ideal was to get away for a small adventure with the kids. It has been so windy that we haven't had many opportunities to really get out and play. However, camping doesn't ever go as planned. We were aware of this, but it still sounded fun. Nature, scenery, bonding, adventure....However, it isn't going to happen. There are several reasons, one big one for me is that Adam is unusually tired. He's also fighting lots of painful mouth sores. He is so willing to push through his fatigue with a smile that it's easy for me to forget he's still sick. I think it's easy for him to forget as well. Well, this week is the reminder that we aren't finished yet. We are still in this season as much as we'd like to move on. This is when perseverence really kicks in. There is still much for which to be thankful. It's just that now we are practicing gratitude as a discipline as well as an emotion. God is good- all the time. All the time- God is good. That camping trip will come. Just not yet.

news

Today is chemo day, but more importantly news-wise, we got to talk with the doctor about the CT scan I had on Friday. The news is good!

Bottom line - the tumor continues to shrink and we are right on track with the treatment plan!
While the tumor initially measured around 10cm x 11cm, it now measures at 3.5cm x 5.9cm - a little less than half it's original size. Because the tumor has been responsive to chemo so far, the doctor expressed optimism that the treatment will be successful.

The plan continues to be to take two more rounds of chemo followed by a PET/CT scan which will allow them to measure both the physical dimensions of the tumor and if the tumor is still active or not. This scan will determine next steps. If the tumor continues to shrink considerably and they think more chemo will be effective, they may order two more rounds of chemo. If the PET scan reveals a tumor that has reached the end of its responsiveness to chemo, but is still somewhat "alive", then radiation is the next step. If the tumor appears to be "dead", then we will consult with the doctors on the costs/benefits of doing radiation. They may decide to do the radiation anyway as a preventative measure for any future occurrence since the tumor was so large initially.

Ok - the benadryll they give me before the chemo has just hit me, so I will sign off for now. It's hard to type "drunk"! I will definitely keep you posted if more details emerge. Thanks for all your prayers and love...
-Adam (for Casey, Ben and Ellie)

meals

As always, the Morrows are so appreciative of the meals and gift cards that have been given to them over the past weeks.  April is almost completely covered, with the exception of 2 days.  Please see the care calendar (details on the left side of this page) if you'd like to fill those slots.  Thx!

long time, no post!

I've gotten inquiries from several of you wondering why we haven't posted in a while. Sorry! Honestly it's because we haven't had anything new to write in awhile.

The name of the game has been "perseverance" these last weeks. After a flurry of change and challenges in the early days of this adventure, life has fallen into a predictable rhythm defined by the stretch between chemo treatments. The challenge has been facing the familiar with the same desperate faith as we did the unfamiliar. It is ironic that sometimes this is the more difficult task!

As I've written many times, I continue to be amazed and thankful at the steadfast love and support of you who are choosing to persevere with us! I know in the future, if ever God gives me the opportunity to play the supportive friend for someone else, that person will have you to thank for teaching me just what that really means.

Tomorrow (Friday April 3rd) I go in for a CT scan to gauge the progress of the treatments so far. I will get to sit down with the doctor next Wednesday (the 8th) to hear the results. So plan on hearing from us then, hopefully with good news...

chemo day reminders

Today is chemo day. I've been dreading this day more than usual, I think, because I was feeling so good the last few days and don't want to go back to feeling bad. But dealing with that dread the last few days has reminded me of a few things:

1)The importance of rest and fun. Casey, the kids and I got a chance to get out of town for a few days for Spring Break, and I was surprised at how good it was to get away for a little bit. Being in a different setting, away from the daily grind, was so good. It was good to do things that refresh my soul - be outside, have a little adventure, have fun with the family... Please pray that Casey and the kids will continue to experience refreshment as I begin chemo.

2) The importance of friendship. Yesterday I left Casey and the kids in Tyler to come back for chemo today and picked up my best friend/brother Mike at the airport in Dallas. I was reminded how much I (and we all) need people to encourage me in the journey and keep pointing me to my ultimate hope - Jesus. This morning Mike sat in on the morning Bible study I have with some good friends each week and we talked about a man named Jairus whose account is found in Mark chapter 5. In his most depsperate hour his friends told him not to bother Jesus anymore because it was hopeless. I am so thankful I have friends who say the opposite - don't stop looking at Jesus, put your hope in HIm because He is the only one worthy of it.

3) The importance of trying times. In that same passage in the gospel of Mark, both Jairus and another woman are brought to their knees because of their desparate circumstances. It was in the risky posture of desperate dependence precipitated by these dire circumstances that produced a life changing encounter with Jesus. I can identify with them in that I have experienced the grace and love of God's powerful presence so much more deeply these days precisely because I am in touch with my desperate condition. I am actually thankful for trying times like this one because it helps me realize how much more I could experience Him (and therefore the life for which He made me).

the space between

The third week of the chemo cycle is the best, and I am noticing that this "third week" is better than the ones before. Just a few twinges of chest pain here and there, but overall I feel almost normal. As I've come out the fog this time around, I've noticed a couple of things. First, I am really aware of the wear and tear on the family. Accommodating me and taking care of me has been an added stress that is taking its toll on both Casey and the kids. They do so much to take up the slack when I don't feel good and they don't complain. Needless to say, we are all looking forward to getting out of town this weekend. I'll leave them with Casey's parents midweek to come back for chemo, and I am really glad for Casey and the kids that they will have a little break from the chemo "drill" this time.

Finally, I continue to learn from many of you what love looks like. Our small group recently did a parenting study in which the author, Dr. Tim Kimmel, defines love as "the commitment of my will to your best interests, regardless of the cost." It is in this season, after the initial surge of shock and attention has passed when I am really amazed to see people doing this to us - continuing to pray for us, spending their time and energy on our behalf. We have received yard work and meals and financial assistance and childcare and prayers and words of encouragement. Friends continue to do life with us, even when we are a mess, and love us so extravagently that they are sending Casey and I on a weekend getaway in a few weeks. It is definitely extrememly humbling and sustaining at the same time...